Thursday, March 31, 2011

Baby Baby Baby OH

Baby baby baby ohhh.... life has become a hassel. Im exhausted. I havent been sleeping or eating right or even taking care of myself. Im exhausted, my body is telling me to stop and my caffine in take has dramatically increased in the last week. S and I have been fighting more than usual. We really got into it in the wee hours of sunday morning. On saturday I was upset. I was tired, frozen, and in pain, and i was on duty. Now all I wanted with a kiss or some sort of attention from my boyfriend and did i get that....NNNOOOOOOO. I dont cry. And I ended up cry, it was stupid, I felt stupid, but i just wanted to feel like S cared and at that point it didnt seem like he did. And well after all of our friends left we fought, and then we kissed and made up and he cuddled with me. Sunday was the same, monday we argued but then cuddled, tuesday we cuddled, and last night we were suppose to see each other and he just showed up at my door. Was it great to have him there yes, howevver, I need to sleep and he doesnt help that. So tonight with or without S, Im going to bed and sleeping forever.

Good Night world

Tuesday, March 29, 2011


1)Are you really ready for 111 questions?.....I guess soo
2) Was your last real relationship a mistake?.... It wasnt a mistake, it was just to much to fast.

4) Who did you last say “I love you” to?..... well I told Scott he was lucky I loved him if that counts.

5) Do you regret it?.... Not at all

6) Have you ever been depressed?.... Yes. Been there done that, dont really wanna go back there. Finally found my flashlight and got the hell out of the darkness

8)Are you a boy or girl?..... Girl
9) What is your relationship status?.....unoffically single... aka Scott needs to get his head out of his butt and accept strings

10) How do you want to die?..... In my sleep

11) What did you last eat?.... Pepperoni, Im weird I know

12) Played any sports?... Softball, basketball, figure skating
13) Do you bite your nails?.... yes, only when im nervous

14) When was your last physical fight?.... ummmmm 7th grade... thanks justine
15) Do you have an attitude?..... absolutely

16) Do you like someone?..... yes. i like and love. I am torn between what could be simple and easy while not being totally right for me, and what its hard and complicated that Ive been fighting for for two years

17) What is your real name?..... Samantha Evelyn Hahn

19) Are you gonna get high later ?...... No

20) Do you hate anyone at the moment?.... Not so much hate but a strong freaking dislike

21) Do you miss someone?.... all day everyday

22) Twirl or cut your spaghetti?.... Both, Im special. :)

23) Do you tan a lot?.... Not a chance in hell, I spend time out side with SPF 20 and call it a day

24) Have any pets?.... 3 cats and 2 froggies

25) How exactly are you feeling?.... Torn between everything in life. Between what I dream about and what could actually happen.

26) Ever eaten food in a car while someone or yourself is driving?.... yup i have

27) Ever made out in the bathroom?..... yes i have

28) Would you take any of your exes back?......... At this point I dont know, Ive gotten along pretty well without them that taking them back would just be self distructive

29) Are you scared of spiders? ..... deathly afraid

30) Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?... yes, but only to a few moments

31) Do you regret anything from your past?.... most of sophmore summer, Live and learn

32) What are your plans for this weekend?.... bowling with the boys, vt on saturday to see candice, maddi, and alex, and then softball and hanging out with ash on sunday.

33) Do you want to have kids?....yes, 3, and I have baby names picked too

34) Did you ever kiss someone whose name starts with an M?.... yes

35) Do you type fast?...... kinda

36) Do you have piercings? How many?.... yes, one.

37) Want any more?.... no

38) Can you spell well?.... I dont spell.

39) Do you miss anyone from your past?.... yes. my mikes and my grandfather

40) What are you craving right now?... mashed potatoes now thanks to candice, but before i was craving chips and dip

41) Ever been to a bonfire party?... ummmm i live in the hick sooo yea

43) Have you ever been on a horse?..... yes

44) Kissed someone in a pick up truck?.... nope

45) Have you ever broken someone’s heart? .... yes, intentionally no, but yes

46) Have you ever been cheated on?... yes

47) Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?.... yes

49) Would you live with someone without marrying them?....yes

50) What should you be doing ?.... homework

51) What’s irritating you right now?..... the fact that i dont have my car and need to depend on other people

52) Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts?.... this whole i need you to breathe feeling

53) Does somebody love you?.... my family and friends, everyone else lies

54) What is your favorite colour?..... Green.... lime freakin green

55) Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?.....yupp

57) Do you have trust issues?... theres only so much you can handle before ou question everything. I trust everone its the devil inside i dont trust.

60. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?...... NO

62) Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you?.... Yeah when she want to know how my softball team is doing

63) Who was the last person you cried in front of? David, Bri, Mel, and Scott, I dont cry either.
64) Do you give out second chances too easily?.... Way to easily and way to much

65) Is it easier to forgive or forget?..... I forgive but I never forget

66) Is this year the best year of your life?... HAHAHAHAHAHA youve got jokes

67) What was your child hood nickname?... Sam, which has changed to Hahn

68) Have you ever walked outside completely naked?.... yup, skinny dipping :)

70) Do you believe everything happens for a reason?.... yup, and karma is a bitch

71) What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?.... fought with scott over stupid shit

73) What is bothering you?... the fact that this survey cant count :)

74) Have you ever been out of your province? ummmmm yeah
75) Do you play the Wii?.... I have.

76) Are you listening to music right now?... no im listening to ashley babble :D
77) Do you like Chinese food?... some of it

78) Do you know your fathers b- day?.... sure do :)
79) Are you afraid of the dark?... use too

80) Is cheating ever okay?.... For me no but I dont judge, you do you and Ill back your choice.

81) Are you mean?.... I can be a fucking bitch

82) Can you keep white shoes clean?... negative, I run in the rain with white shoes
84) Do you believe in true love?... nope, f you cinderella

88) Do you like the outside?..... its okay

89) Are you currently bored?.... well duhhh
90) Do you wanna get married?.... yes i do

91) Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?....... I do  :)

92) Are you hungry?..... starving :D

93) Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight?.... yup :)

94) What makes you happy?... Good nights with scott and seeing pictures of baby alex, abbie, and liam... those kids are my world and they arent related to me but ill spoil the shit out of them

95) Would you change your name?.... yeah. When I marry, Ill take thier last name and add my maiden name to my middle name

96) Ever been to Alaska?.... and i wouldnt, I hate snow
98) Do you watch the news?.... here and there
99) What’ s your zodiac sign?..... peices
100) Do you like Subway?..... LOVE IT
101) Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?... Not at all
102) Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?... were already dating he just doesnt know it

103) Do you talk like your friends?... yes i do

105) Have you ever seen someone you knew & purposely avoided them?.... yes

106) Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?... completely and totally

107) who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?.....scott

108) Does it matter if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes?... Cigs yes, pot no. but keep it away from me
109) Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?...... Me myself and I

110) Favourite lyrics right now?....

How many times can I break til I shatter?

Over the line, can't define what I'm after
I always turn the car around
Give me a break; let me make my own pattern
All that it takes is some time
But I'm shattered
I always turn the car around

111) Can you count to one million?..... doubt it, ADD would kick in

Friday, March 25, 2011



Fuck You Callahan

Thursday, March 17, 2011

lets be real

People come and go and they always leave an imprint on your heart. Today K and I got divorce, and it was her decision which was kinda my plan. I would never leave her and I will always love her, but us saying we were married and were wives wasnt realistic. We have fallen appart since I made being happy and doing things soley for myself a priortity and it hurt our relationship. She is a great girl and deserves the best of friends and to be happy, and maybe Im not that best friend for her. Ive got two of the best friends a girl can ask for and then Ive got the best group of friends that a girl can ask for too. they all fill a role and they all are appart of what make me me. K is no exception, she will be the girl that i randomly text quack too or that i show up in her room with a coffee because if i have learned anything k without coffee is not pretty. K has always excepted me for who I am we just fell out of the spending every waking minute together stage and moved in to a different one. Do i miss those nights? yes. Do I miss her? yes. Do i love her more than she'll know? of course. I admire, respect, trust, and care about this girl. Am I bitter? No. Why? Cause we just took the facebook offical label of our relationship and got real. One of us had to and i respect her for being the one that actually had the pair of balls to do it. So K, when you read this (and I know you will) I LOVE YOU and Ive always got your back.

M- lets get real. life will never be easy, you know that so if that what you are waiting for you are going go to heaven or hell which ever you prefer as a very bitter old lady with a serious knee problem. We all ask you how is it going even though we dont agree with your life becuase we love you and we back your decisions and will always be there for you. But that being said, come on. Get up and do something about it. If you dont like it change it. Make your life worth living, cause I know you and i know you arent happy. And I love you which means ill support you always and forever but get your butt in gear and be that girl i know you are. If he isnt fixing then either you fix ir or say fuck it. And I know its scary and you dont want to becuase when things are good things are good, but you have family and friends who will be there for you and make it good all the time rather than just once or twice a week. You dont deserve to live hoping that today is a good day, you deserve to live knowing when you wake up that no matter what it will be a good day and if its not you are coming home to those that love you no matter what. So, i love you and ill back you no matter what you know this, but Im reverting back to being your RA and saying Put your big girl panties on and make yourself happy! K? Love you mean it <3 me

S- Come on! For a guy that doesnt want to be in a relationship becuase of the time and the stress you certainly put a lot of time into me. You have been here everyday and in a one month period we have only not seen eachother 3 times. Like come one. We do everything a couple does and then some, so lets stop with the i havent taken myself off the market bs and be real. We are together. K pumpkin? :D

you cant wait for happiness, if its not there go make it

March Madness

March Madness... The NCAA'S finest times battle it out for who is the best team in the country. 68 teams enter the dance. Every college kids and fans dream. Now everyone fills out a bracket. Millions of people print and bet on who will win it. When I was in high school we filled out brackets, paid our five bucks, and got daily updates as to who was winning the pool. My senior year I actually got third in the pool (thank you florida). So this year my bracket looks simular to every other year, and no im not that girl that just picks the higher seeds and calls it a day. Example: Nova (9) vs. George Mason(8), ive got Nova, why? because I always take Nova. Actually looking at my bracket I picked all of the nine seeds beating the eight seeds. My 5-12 upset? Clemson (12) v. W.Virginia (5), ive got clemson. Do I really think they will win it, nawww but it would be a great upset if they did.  I like the underdog. I like the teams that no one thinks will win because its usually those team that smack the cockyness out of some of these teams. Another team that I always go with in the first round, Gonzaga. Zaga has never let me down and they look good this year. Yeah they arent ranked number one or even five for that matter but I think like always they will make it to round two (technically three).  Last night I watched the VCU v. USC game, which leds to the winner playing Georgetown later this weekend. VCU won. Damn did they look good. They had it all, hitting every shot, every rebound. One kid got 15 rebounds. If he keeps that up G'town is going to have an issue. 15 rebounds is about heart and how bad they want it. Not saying that G'town doesnt have heart but they have been sitting and resting which is a good thing but VCU is coming in hyped up and hype can lead a long way. I picked G'town to win this game, but they make me nervous. This game is going to be a good one, and this will be one that I am sure to watch. My favorite team in the bracket, BYU. My money is on them kicking some serious ass. They are the underdogs, third seed, and with a kid that score 52 points in a game. My bet is that they will be the team to watch...

East: Round 2
Ohio v. Ala. State - (Ohio)
GMU v. Nova - (Nova)
W.V. v. Clemson- (Clemson)
Kentucky v. Princeton- (Kentucky)
Xavier v. marquette - (Xavier)
Cuse v. Indiana - (Cuse)
Washington v. georgia - (Georgia)
NC v. LIU - (UNC)

West: Round 2
Duke v. Hampton - (Duke)
Michigan v. Tennessee - (Tenn)
Arizona v. Memphis - (Memphis)
Texas v. Oakland - (Texas)
Cincy v. Missouri - (Cincy)
Uconn v. Bucknell - (Uconn)
Temple v. Penn state- (Temple)
SDS v. Northern Colo. - (SDS)

Southwest: Round 2
Kansas v. BU - (Kansas)
UNLV v. Illinois - (Illinois)
Vanderbuilt v. Richmond - (Vanderbuilt)
Louisville v. Morehead - (Louisville)
Georgetown v. VCU - (G'town)
Purdue v. St. Peter - (Purdue)
Texas AM v. Florida St. - (A&M)
N.Dame v. Akron - (Dame)

Southeast: Round 2
Pitt v. UNC Ash. - (Pitt)
Butler v. Old Dom. - (Old Dom)
Kansas St. v. Utah st. - (Kansas St)
Wisconson v. Belmont - (Wisconson)
St. John's v. Zaga - (Zaga)
BYU v. Wolford- (BYU)
UCLA v. Michigan st. - (UCLA)
Florida v. UCSB - (Florida)

And the madness begins.....


Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Where to begin

So I'm four days post op. The first night was bad really bad and hen the rest of it wasn't to bad. I'm sleepin more and I can almost straighten it and bend it. I can also put weight on it which is amazing. S came over everynight and has been amazing. He has been helpful and sweet. M came over last night and jt and L should be coming by this week too. Today my mom is having stich and bitch which means I'll have to vacate the couch and mosey downstairs. I'm going to start playing with my circut scarpbooking tool which will be so much fun.

And now I'm going to nap, why? Because I can :-)

Saturday, March 12, 2011


So surgery. It hurts. I was scared going into it. Cc tried to call me down and so did s. My friends were great. I got my hair cut and colored and I love it. Oh and my aunt and uncle flew up from Florida for my surgery. It completely made my day because my uncle was there last time and he knows how to make me feel better. In surgery I guess I had an allergic reaction by tape used to keep my eyes closed and the tube in my throat but yeah so I hurt a lot but it's ok.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Call of duty

So this game has consumed my life and not because I actually play but because my boyfriend does. When we are at his house he plays and I watch or blog or do homework and on some night I just go upstairs to bed. I've spent a lot of time with S and were basically official so I guess the next question why can't I tell him that I really need him to be here on Friday rather than just saying I would like you to be there. Anyone?

Sunday, March 6, 2011

when it rains it pours

I love the quote, when it rains it pours, and well thats totally true. When it rains it pours. And on this rainy sunday it is certainly pouring. And today kicks off the worst week in the world for just about everybody. Spring fever. A week till spring break. Midterms week. Exams, Quizzes, and Papers, on top of fighting with roommates, family, friends, significant others, you name it, its happening. All around me its happening. You cant stop it and you certainly cant avoid it. All of this stress is all bottled up and shaken up and its bound to come exploding out like putting an mentos is a diet coke bottle.

Theres only so much you can do in a week like this, I just wish i knew what that was. Balls to the walls. Keep moving till either you cant go anymore or the week is over whichever happens first. So heres my plan for the week. Plenty of dunks, little sleep if any, and dont stop till it says 5:45 on thursday night....

Thursday, March 3, 2011


Birthdays. There kind of a hit or miss. I'll never forget the birthday I almost choked on pizza and my dad didn't know the sign nor will I forget the birthday that I broke up with my first girlfriend. Theme there's the long awaited 21st birthday and that was amazingly dull. And today my 22nd birthday. I spent the night with s, got in a fight with e, and after texts from TB and KC my night turned a little sour. But on the brightside s is laying in bed next to me, I have class with my favorite professor tomorrow, and dinner with my parent that will involve a very large margarita. So thanks to those who blew up my Facebook and fuck you to those who tried to take my happy birthday away.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

The final count down.... and everything inbetween

2 days till my birthday...
and heres the thing, Im done wishing. Not to be cynical or anything but its true, Im done wishing and Im done hoping that they come true. A lot fo the time I think its my own fault for wishing for things that have no possibility of coming true. So this year instead of a birthday wish Im making a birthday thank you. Thank you irony. Hehe you are amazing and by amazing I mean the mix of you and karma have certainly added a humerous one two punch to my life.   

10 days till surgery...
Im scared. Not going to lie. Im scared shitless. Its not like it was the last time I had surgery. I dont know exactly what he is going to do or when he is going to do it for that fact. All the same, hello surgery and potentially miserable spring break, good bye constant knee pain.