really? Fucking really???

So the other day I was having a total I miss my mom day, again. And well it was really bugging me. I was feeling icky, insecure, unsure of everything, forgotten, and well i missed my mom and my friends. After telling CC that i was missing my mom and my friends, crying a lot, and having her reassure me that it was going to be okay. She also said why dont you tell her. So I did. I texted her simply saying I miss my mom and you know what??!?!?!?! She not only never answered me but she had my dad call me instead! Seriously! Honestly that just made it worse. Here I am in a house with m girlfriends parents that honestly love me and i cant get my mom to even admit that she misses me. UUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!! Then she calls me today, 48 hours later and tries to make plans for this weekend.

On a differnet note, CC gave me a ring! Its a claddagh ring, with the north star in the middle. Apparently she talked to B and M about it for like the last month or more. :) Anyway, I knew she had something planned or was doing something, then saturday night we were laying in bed and she just put it on my finger! It was amazing. I immediately bolted out of bed turned on the light blinding CC to look at it. She asked me if I saw the middle, and of course I had. In the middle is the north star. Awhile back CC and I were talking about the north star and it leading home, and I said well yeah, except the north star doesnt lead me home it leads me straight to you. Which is true, if I follow the north star it takes me directly to her house. On totally clear nights it actually looks like the north star is directly above her house. Its awesome. So thats my ring! And I LOVE IT!!!!!

Six Word Saturday and pictures :)

Six words about me. 

I don't always like to share...  

except with little man

I'd share with him all day every day

He's sooooo cute!!!!

I miss my mom.
She may be a bitch sometimes and her and i don't always see eye to eye, but all the same i miss my mom.

Shit I hate

Shit I Hate Sundays

Finally got a job, at the same place as CC and well its been interesting. I like it, but its not Kamp or being an RA. I really want an RD job.

Anywho Shit I hate Sunday…

Shit I hate… missing the football game cause Im working and It was a damn good game. Grrr.

Shit I hate… the fact that the sox cant freaking win a game let actually pitch.

Speaking of pitch…. I hate that my girlfriend knows all of my strategies in that game and then kicks my ass in it. Ughhhh Im sooooooo kicking her butt tonight

Shit I hate…. Missing my best friends

Shit I hate…. Stupid shit on T.V. I mean how many fucking talk shows do we need to have, also, dance moms or that other pageant is messed up. NO two year old should be fucking spray tanned or have teeth whitening. Anyone else see a problem with that.

And finally…. I HATE that we spend billions on trying to fix other countries but cant fix our own damn problems. Oh and our education system might not suck as much if we didn’t always cut the budget, just saying. And FYI, you CAN’T have an plan to reduce obesity in kids that requires more education on nutrition and fitness when you have just CUT gym and health from the curriculum!!! Ya morons!

Laugh out Load Friday!!!

Teen Mom

Sooo I am watching the show teen mom. B and I use to watch this show all the time and could never get enough of it. We use to bitch and moan about the girls we liked didnt like or if we just thought they were being stupid. Most of the time we were just pissed that they made it look soo freaking easy. Now that I am watching it with out B, my bitching has been moved to my blog. I have two friends that are teen mom. And they are kick ass. One works two jobs barely sleeps and doesnt always get a lot of time with her son. The other, is working and trying to learn and make a better life for herself. Luckly for one them the father plays a role in her sons life, for the other not as much. The first girl I mentioned is CC's ex. And she is pretty kick ass. Her baby daddy is "thing" or "fuckhead" depending on who you ask. He is worthless. He doesnt do anything and he has done nothing but hurt Kt and well thats just not cool. She works hard and she deserves to be happy. Kt is lucky cause she has Dada which is my girl. And I am lucky because at 8:50 this morning i got a phone call from little man and got to talk to him while CC worked. She is going to be so pissed that she missed his phone call. CC and I try to help with liam whenever Kt needs and we get him this weekend and I cant wait.

The second mom I was talking about is Shrimpy. She is awesome. She is my shrimpy and Im here jiganto :) Shirmpy and CC are best friends and I love that both her (cc) and I can fit in with each other friends. So the Shrimpster is fun loving, hard working, and she is a really good mom. I dont know the whole story but she is pretty kick ass. And if you go to http://thisismylifeaslizz.blogspot.com/ you can read her blog.

Basically my real life teen moms are pretty kick ass compared to MTV's, dont you think.

And Im linking up to this crazy mama!! check it out.

lyrics

 
Every generation

Blames the one before
And all of their frustrations
Come beating on your door

I know that I'm a prisoner
To all my Father held so dear
I know that I'm a hostage
To all his hopes and fears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Crumpled bits of paper
Filled with imperfect thought
Stilted conversations
I'm afraid that's all we've got

up to date

Okay here is the mother of all life updates. 

C and I are no longer friends. why? who knows? I only found out because she never answers my phone calls or text me, and has apparently blocked me off facebook. oh well. I feel bad because I did actually care about her and I only say did because I don't really anymore. Was she a friend, yes. Will i miss her, i don't know. I miss her life updates and her silly antics. I miss her telling me to stop freaking out. But she hasn't been around. I have seen her since graduation. And we only really talked when life was falling apart. So oh well, shit happens. This whole not being friends thing is seems to be following suit, with A. She has left too. Wont answer my texts or anything like that and blocked me. Rumor has that she and C are dating and maybe that it true but either way I'm over that one too. And if they are well good for them, people deserve to be happy in the world, contrary to the horrible events that life throws at them.  

Holy grad school batman. Literally, school is good. Its a great place, or so I have been told. Living on campus is totally stupid and is a waste of money. I really should be staying at my parents place in stoddard or just finding an apartment or something. I haven't been around really because on Tuesdays and Thursdays when i dont have class I spend time with CC and then drive up early in the morning to get to my classes. The homework is finally starting so I at least have something to do with my life. And hopefully by mid week I will at least be work so that way I can have some sort of income. 

My apartment is awesome, and I should probably start spending more time there. The sitting room/Living room is huge, kitchen is tiny but good enough for me. I got the bigger room. Bath room is nice, its finally nice to just shower without having to wear flip flops. And well my roommate still hasnt shown up. This weekend Ive been down in MA so who knows maybe she came in this weekend and if she did that would royally suck ass. I like not having a roommate and just having the place for me and CC. 

So the shit have to do this week... Get a job. Write this stupid thing on sliding filament theory, write two reflections, and clean my room becuase aparently health and wellness checks actually exsist and are taking place next week. Oh Joy! I am not the neatest of people and well I am okay with that. I know I am not a neat freak but I can clean, wash dishes and ensure that my place isnt a toxic waste dump. I mean it may take me a week to do my piles of laundry but hey shit happens.

So thats my life. I miss my friends. I miss M and B like no tomorrow and wish they were around 24/7 again. I miss JT and L and cant believe that JT is getting married in like 8 months. Aside from the semantics of school and the day to day tasks of life, my anxiety has been low although it showed up yesterday, and I have been feeling incredibly insecure lately. I dont know why. My guess is that it has to do with my new enviroment and for the first time in a long time I dont actually know everything or everyone. And unfortunately that means that CC has to put up with me being whiny and emotional.

OOOOHHHH and get this. So we parked CC's car on campus the other day and the bastards gave her a 100$ thats right a 100$ ticket!!! like seriously. that's a little over kill aint it?

Bye For now

<3Sam 

Role Reverse

So all summer I have been working. Monday thru Friday 8:30 to 3:30. And for CC it sucked. Leaving her in that room every day sucked for me but was even worse for her. She couldnt really go anywhere and she was totally trapped. Now the roles are reversed. She is at work right now and Im sitting here doing nothing waiting for her to come home, which wont be for hours. Its weird. And I don't like it. :(

Rain Rain go away

So there is this new blog I follow and I absolutely love her shit, which is where a lot of my posts are coming from. Today is Shit I hate Sunday, but ill get into that after I do a life update.

First of all I have officially moved out of mine and CC's cars and into my very own two bedroom grad school apartment. The place is pretty sweet I might add. Bathroom is tiny but the shower is pretty kick ass. My roommate has so far been a no show so I basically moved in and took over. I've got the bigger room, although my mom says that i should have taken the other one just cause it was away from the street. But whatever mom, i wanted the bigger room. Now if my roommate doesnt show up I'm stealing the second bed and making a big one and moving the desk to the other room. I miss my big bed from the path. Today my parents came to visit, and back into the closet it went. However, I think the axe body wash and two tooth brushes in the bathroom should have said it all. Then we went to walmart, spent a shit ton of moneys and then lunch.

So the shit I hate....

I HATE..... when my mom is up my butt about not being social, when really she just doesnt like that Im gay.
I HATE..... that when my girlfriend is cranky I cant make it better therefor we are both cranky and thats not cool
I HATE..... this rain. Im over it and flooding. Im also over remembering my accident every time it rains.
I HATE.... being a girl. Being emotional is over rated.


and i'm sure i hate more but that's it for now...

<3 me