Showing posts with label trust. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trust. Show all posts
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Hahnology
1)Are you really ready for 111 questions?.....I guess soo
2) Was your last real relationship a mistake?.... It wasnt a mistake, it was just to much to fast.
4) Who did you last say “I love you” to?..... well I told Scott he was lucky I loved him if that counts.
5) Do you regret it?.... Not at all
6) Have you ever been depressed?.... Yes. Been there done that, dont really wanna go back there. Finally found my flashlight and got the hell out of the darkness
8)Are you a boy or girl?..... Girl
9) What is your relationship status?.....unoffically single... aka Scott needs to get his head out of his butt and accept strings
10) How do you want to die?..... In my sleep
11) What did you last eat?.... Pepperoni, Im weird I know
12) Played any sports?... Softball, basketball, figure skating
13) Do you bite your nails?.... yes, only when im nervous
14) When was your last physical fight?.... ummmmm 7th grade... thanks justine
15) Do you have an attitude?..... absolutely
16) Do you like someone?..... yes. i like and love. I am torn between what could be simple and easy while not being totally right for me, and what its hard and complicated that Ive been fighting for for two years
17) What is your real name?..... Samantha Evelyn Hahn
19) Are you gonna get high later ?...... No
20) Do you hate anyone at the moment?.... Not so much hate but a strong freaking dislike
21) Do you miss someone?.... all day everyday
22) Twirl or cut your spaghetti?.... Both, Im special. :)
23) Do you tan a lot?.... Not a chance in hell, I spend time out side with SPF 20 and call it a day
24) Have any pets?.... 3 cats and 2 froggies
25) How exactly are you feeling?.... Torn between everything in life. Between what I dream about and what could actually happen.
26) Ever eaten food in a car while someone or yourself is driving?.... yup i have
27) Ever made out in the bathroom?..... yes i have
28) Would you take any of your exes back?......... At this point I dont know, Ive gotten along pretty well without them that taking them back would just be self distructive
29) Are you scared of spiders? ..... deathly afraid
30) Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?... yes, but only to a few moments
31) Do you regret anything from your past?.... most of sophmore summer, Live and learn
32) What are your plans for this weekend?.... bowling with the boys, vt on saturday to see candice, maddi, and alex, and then softball and hanging out with ash on sunday.
33) Do you want to have kids?....yes, 3, and I have baby names picked too
34) Did you ever kiss someone whose name starts with an M?.... yes
35) Do you type fast?...... kinda
36) Do you have piercings? How many?.... yes, one.
37) Want any more?.... no
38) Can you spell well?.... I dont spell.
39) Do you miss anyone from your past?.... yes. my mikes and my grandfather
40) What are you craving right now?... mashed potatoes now thanks to candice, but before i was craving chips and dip
41) Ever been to a bonfire party?... ummmm i live in the hick sooo yea
43) Have you ever been on a horse?..... yes
44) Kissed someone in a pick up truck?.... nope
45) Have you ever broken someone’s heart? .... yes, intentionally no, but yes
46) Have you ever been cheated on?... yes
47) Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?.... yes
49) Would you live with someone without marrying them?....yes
50) What should you be doing ?.... homework
51) What’s irritating you right now?..... the fact that i dont have my car and need to depend on other people
52) Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts?.... this whole i need you to breathe feeling
53) Does somebody love you?.... my family and friends, everyone else lies
54) What is your favorite colour?..... Green.... lime freakin green
55) Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?.....yupp
57) Do you have trust issues?... theres only so much you can handle before ou question everything. I trust everone its the devil inside i dont trust.
60. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?...... NO
62) Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you?.... Yeah when she want to know how my softball team is doing
63) Who was the last person you cried in front of? David, Bri, Mel, and Scott, I dont cry either.
64) Do you give out second chances too easily?.... Way to easily and way to much
65) Is it easier to forgive or forget?..... I forgive but I never forget
66) Is this year the best year of your life?... HAHAHAHAHAHA youve got jokes
67) What was your child hood nickname?... Sam, which has changed to Hahn
68) Have you ever walked outside completely naked?.... yup, skinny dipping :)
70) Do you believe everything happens for a reason?.... yup, and karma is a bitch
71) What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?.... fought with scott over stupid shit
73) What is bothering you?... the fact that this survey cant count :)
74) Have you ever been out of your province? ummmmm yeah
75) Do you play the Wii?.... I have.
76) Are you listening to music right now?... no im listening to ashley babble :D
77) Do you like Chinese food?... some of it
78) Do you know your fathers b- day?.... sure do :)
79) Are you afraid of the dark?... use too
80) Is cheating ever okay?.... For me no but I dont judge, you do you and Ill back your choice.
81) Are you mean?.... I can be a fucking bitch
82) Can you keep white shoes clean?... negative, I run in the rain with white shoes
84) Do you believe in true love?... nope, f you cinderella
88) Do you like the outside?..... its okay
89) Are you currently bored?.... well duhhh
90) Do you wanna get married?.... yes i do
91) Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?....... I do :)
92) Are you hungry?..... starving :D
93) Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight?.... yup :)
94) What makes you happy?... Good nights with scott and seeing pictures of baby alex, abbie, and liam... those kids are my world and they arent related to me but ill spoil the shit out of them
95) Would you change your name?.... yeah. When I marry, Ill take thier last name and add my maiden name to my middle name
96) Ever been to Alaska?.... and i wouldnt, I hate snow
98) Do you watch the news?.... here and there
99) What’ s your zodiac sign?..... peices
100) Do you like Subway?..... LOVE IT
101) Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?... Not at all
102) Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?... were already dating he just doesnt know it
103) Do you talk like your friends?... yes i do
105) Have you ever seen someone you knew & purposely avoided them?.... yes
106) Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?... completely and totally
107) who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?.....scott
108) Does it matter if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes?... Cigs yes, pot no. but keep it away from me
109) Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?...... Me myself and I
110) Favourite lyrics right now?....
How many times can I break til I shatter?
Over the line, can't define what I'm after
I always turn the car around
Give me a break; let me make my own pattern
All that it takes is some time
But I'm shattered
I always turn the car around
111) Can you count to one million?..... doubt it, ADD would kick in
2) Was your last real relationship a mistake?.... It wasnt a mistake, it was just to much to fast.
4) Who did you last say “I love you” to?..... well I told Scott he was lucky I loved him if that counts.
5) Do you regret it?.... Not at all
6) Have you ever been depressed?.... Yes. Been there done that, dont really wanna go back there. Finally found my flashlight and got the hell out of the darkness
8)Are you a boy or girl?..... Girl
9) What is your relationship status?.....unoffically single... aka Scott needs to get his head out of his butt and accept strings
10) How do you want to die?..... In my sleep
11) What did you last eat?.... Pepperoni, Im weird I know
12) Played any sports?... Softball, basketball, figure skating
13) Do you bite your nails?.... yes, only when im nervous
14) When was your last physical fight?.... ummmmm 7th grade... thanks justine
15) Do you have an attitude?..... absolutely
16) Do you like someone?..... yes. i like and love. I am torn between what could be simple and easy while not being totally right for me, and what its hard and complicated that Ive been fighting for for two years
17) What is your real name?..... Samantha Evelyn Hahn
19) Are you gonna get high later ?...... No
20) Do you hate anyone at the moment?.... Not so much hate but a strong freaking dislike
21) Do you miss someone?.... all day everyday
22) Twirl or cut your spaghetti?.... Both, Im special. :)
23) Do you tan a lot?.... Not a chance in hell, I spend time out side with SPF 20 and call it a day
24) Have any pets?.... 3 cats and 2 froggies
25) How exactly are you feeling?.... Torn between everything in life. Between what I dream about and what could actually happen.
26) Ever eaten food in a car while someone or yourself is driving?.... yup i have
27) Ever made out in the bathroom?..... yes i have
28) Would you take any of your exes back?......... At this point I dont know, Ive gotten along pretty well without them that taking them back would just be self distructive
29) Are you scared of spiders? ..... deathly afraid
30) Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?... yes, but only to a few moments
31) Do you regret anything from your past?.... most of sophmore summer, Live and learn
32) What are your plans for this weekend?.... bowling with the boys, vt on saturday to see candice, maddi, and alex, and then softball and hanging out with ash on sunday.
33) Do you want to have kids?....yes, 3, and I have baby names picked too
34) Did you ever kiss someone whose name starts with an M?.... yes
35) Do you type fast?...... kinda
36) Do you have piercings? How many?.... yes, one.
37) Want any more?.... no
38) Can you spell well?.... I dont spell.
39) Do you miss anyone from your past?.... yes. my mikes and my grandfather
40) What are you craving right now?... mashed potatoes now thanks to candice, but before i was craving chips and dip
41) Ever been to a bonfire party?... ummmm i live in the hick sooo yea
43) Have you ever been on a horse?..... yes
44) Kissed someone in a pick up truck?.... nope
45) Have you ever broken someone’s heart? .... yes, intentionally no, but yes
46) Have you ever been cheated on?... yes
47) Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?.... yes
49) Would you live with someone without marrying them?....yes
50) What should you be doing ?.... homework
51) What’s irritating you right now?..... the fact that i dont have my car and need to depend on other people
52) Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts?.... this whole i need you to breathe feeling
53) Does somebody love you?.... my family and friends, everyone else lies
54) What is your favorite colour?..... Green.... lime freakin green
55) Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?.....yupp
57) Do you have trust issues?... theres only so much you can handle before ou question everything. I trust everone its the devil inside i dont trust.
60. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?...... NO
62) Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you?.... Yeah when she want to know how my softball team is doing
63) Who was the last person you cried in front of? David, Bri, Mel, and Scott, I dont cry either.
64) Do you give out second chances too easily?.... Way to easily and way to much
65) Is it easier to forgive or forget?..... I forgive but I never forget
66) Is this year the best year of your life?... HAHAHAHAHAHA youve got jokes
67) What was your child hood nickname?... Sam, which has changed to Hahn
68) Have you ever walked outside completely naked?.... yup, skinny dipping :)
70) Do you believe everything happens for a reason?.... yup, and karma is a bitch
71) What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?.... fought with scott over stupid shit
73) What is bothering you?... the fact that this survey cant count :)
74) Have you ever been out of your province? ummmmm yeah
75) Do you play the Wii?.... I have.
76) Are you listening to music right now?... no im listening to ashley babble :D
77) Do you like Chinese food?... some of it
78) Do you know your fathers b- day?.... sure do :)
79) Are you afraid of the dark?... use too
80) Is cheating ever okay?.... For me no but I dont judge, you do you and Ill back your choice.
81) Are you mean?.... I can be a fucking bitch
82) Can you keep white shoes clean?... negative, I run in the rain with white shoes
84) Do you believe in true love?... nope, f you cinderella
88) Do you like the outside?..... its okay
89) Are you currently bored?.... well duhhh
90) Do you wanna get married?.... yes i do
91) Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?....... I do :)
92) Are you hungry?..... starving :D
93) Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight?.... yup :)
94) What makes you happy?... Good nights with scott and seeing pictures of baby alex, abbie, and liam... those kids are my world and they arent related to me but ill spoil the shit out of them
95) Would you change your name?.... yeah. When I marry, Ill take thier last name and add my maiden name to my middle name
96) Ever been to Alaska?.... and i wouldnt, I hate snow
98) Do you watch the news?.... here and there
99) What’ s your zodiac sign?..... peices
100) Do you like Subway?..... LOVE IT
101) Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?... Not at all
102) Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?... were already dating he just doesnt know it
103) Do you talk like your friends?... yes i do
105) Have you ever seen someone you knew & purposely avoided them?.... yes
106) Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?... completely and totally
107) who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?.....scott
108) Does it matter if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes?... Cigs yes, pot no. but keep it away from me
109) Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?...... Me myself and I
110) Favourite lyrics right now?....
How many times can I break til I shatter?
Over the line, can't define what I'm after
I always turn the car around
Give me a break; let me make my own pattern
All that it takes is some time
But I'm shattered
I always turn the car around
111) Can you count to one million?..... doubt it, ADD would kick in
Monday, January 10, 2011
time
Gibb taught me to never say your sorry, its a sign of weakness. I dont know what to think about KC's apology.
I said a lot inbetween all of this, and i practically freaked when she said she liked me. This is all Im going to put here on this blog but the jist of our converstation has been saved and the only one who will read it is me and M. I dont know what to do or say or how to feel. I'm just going through the motions. I still get that dopey grin but Im cautious. I dont want to set myself up for heartbreak once again. Im waiting for her to disappear, waiting for her to run, and Im trying so hard not to get my hopes up that she will be around for a while.
Time will tell, and right now I dont know if time is going to be in my favor.
"I just want you to know I never meant to hurt you. Sorry. I’m so sorry I just knew I couldn’t do it.
Be just friends. Because I like you. Im sorry and I know. I told you from day one that im not good.
I know it not enough but im sorry. I really am sorry like I feel terrible.
I know nothing bad comes from being friends but you don’t understand me. I swear I never meant to hurt you like I did. "
I said a lot inbetween all of this, and i practically freaked when she said she liked me. This is all Im going to put here on this blog but the jist of our converstation has been saved and the only one who will read it is me and M. I dont know what to do or say or how to feel. I'm just going through the motions. I still get that dopey grin but Im cautious. I dont want to set myself up for heartbreak once again. Im waiting for her to disappear, waiting for her to run, and Im trying so hard not to get my hopes up that she will be around for a while.
Time will tell, and right now I dont know if time is going to be in my favor.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
trust
God would never give you more than you can handle. My typical responce... I just wish he didnt trust me so much. I am not a spiritual person by far, and I can probably name everytime that I looked at the sky saying "really!" I dont look to "the big man upstairs" for any advice or guiding signs but I have to say I do admire his trust in me. He trusts me more than I trust myself usually and as much I want to march my ass up there wring his neck and say cut the shit, I know at the end of the day Ill be right here, accepting every challenge with this quirky smirk on my face. I just wish we could trust people as much as the world trusts us. With everything each and everyone of us is dealt, every card, every bad hand, up and down, high and low, with everything going on we are a lot stronger then any of us know, we just need to have faith and trust. Trust in ourselves, trust in our families, and most importantly trust in our friends. It is our friends that are the glue that holds everything together even when we feel like everything is falling apart, they are there. Trust in them. Go to them. Love them. Be honest with them, and you will see its as easy as being honest with yourself.
Shot Seventeen: trust is trust
Shot Seventeen: trust is trust
Saturday, October 30, 2010
flashback
Flashbacks. Its like a movie in flicks. Just pieces. His face. The sound. The panic caught in my chest. Its been awhile and through the years I have eliminated the triggers of these dreaded things. Ive eliminated all but two triggers... when people move away while im sleeping curled up with them and whenever someone grabs my arm. Last night was no exception, from the moment S's arm moved from holding me in my comfortable little spoon position it started. First just black and white. Running. Praying the key would work. Hiding in the corner of my room. And again, except different. The next movement he made subconciously pulling me closer only to role over sent me spinning into another. This time more flicks than anything else. white knuckles. silent tears. counting backwards. It was all there, it all felt so real, yet this time I was safe, protected, nothing was going to happen to me. These flashback take control and it may only be for a few seconds but in that moment I am paralized until my eyes snap open and i can see the familiar walls of my dorm.
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