Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Cry

I'm crying and you don't care. Im sorry that our landlord caught on the she was living with us when she wasn't suppose too. I'm sorry that I don't want to move and that I thought that living together was what engaged people do. But I don't feel like you want to live with me. and right now I just want you to kiss me and tell me you love me cause I'm so scared you'll walk out that door

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Thankful

Day 1 - I am thankful for Candice. She is the best thing that has ever randomly said hey on facebook, made the worst valentines day ever better, made driving 85 on rt 89, best first kiss, late night trips, that has ever happened to me. She takes care of me, spoils me, let me worry over stupid stuff, makes sure i keep up with my school work, and so much more. I am lucky to have dealt with enough disastrous relationships that I finally fell into a good one. I am thankful to be marrying my best friend, true love, and soul mate.   

Day 2 I am grateful for Jess and Laurel. With everything we have been through, thick and thin, they have always been there. No matter what we have fought over, and we have fought over some really stupid stuff, they have always been there. I am grateful for all the memories, laughs, tears, and moments we have spent together. Nose goes!

Day 3- I'm grateful to have attended bay path, where I was challenged to do more, stressed to the max, learned the most about my self, was given confidence to love and live, and where I made friends and connections that will last a lifetime.

Day 4- I am thankful to be healthy and that the only thing I have need was elective surgeries. And I'm grateful that my grandmother is healthy. The woman has had 2 surgeries in the last two weeks and has done amazing with both of them. She has her hip replaces, gull bladder removed, a lumpectomy, and an exploratory surgery all this year. She is an amazing woman and I can only hope and pray for many more thanksgiving and Christmases with her.

Day 5- I am grateful for family traditions. I love my weekend before thanksgiving celebration with 28-32 Hahn's depending on the year, and for their inclusion of all significant other. This day is the best day of the year, far better than Christmas or any birthday. When all of us get together its loud, crazy, busy, and the food is amazing and the booze is flowing.

Day 6 - I'm thankful for my little brother. We might have fought a lot and often don't see eye to eye but no matter what he has had my back since day one and is always by my side. It is also because of him that my parents are so accepting of my life and they are coming to terms so much faster because of him.

Day 7- I'm grateful for all my ex's whether we dated or were just a thing, without any of you I wouldn't be where I am today and if you hadn't let me go I wouldn't have found my happily ever after. To you all I wish nothing but happiness and how that you find someone who makes you their priority and rather than an option on a back burner. For some, I am grateful that we could still be friends and that we occasionally talk, others running into at the grocery store totally ruins my week let alone my day. But I thank you for making me stronger and a fighter because now I know what is worth fighting for.

Day 8- I'm thankful for the four years I had Laurel Park as my run away hide away spot, and having showed it to many people it was still my hide away, and that pond has seen more tears, heard more sobs, and listened to me talk (to myself).

Day 9 I am grateful for my parents who despite all their flaws and their stubborn ways they have come to accept me and my life and are actually becoming supportive.

Day 10- I am thankful for my kick ass in- laws to be. They are awesome, and as Candice would say her mom and I are best friends, and well sorry babe we truly are. I know her mom would be there if we ever needed anything and she is always a good shoulder to lean on. That and until hunter came to town we all know I was papa bears favorite.

Day 11- I am grateful to have had the chance to meet Trisna, and Ill just say trisna cause I still cant spell her full name. I am thankful that she came to stay with us in our country and truly embraced the culture and came to call this place her second home. Cant wait for her to be apart of the wedding because she truly became a sister.

Day 12- I am thankful for al our military personel who truly dont get paid enough for thier jobs or their sacrifice. Often the people who critize the military dont realize that the soliders have left thier families, friends, children, parents, and significant others, to protect us and keep us safe. So Raquel, Joe, Keith, Mark, Seve, Cory, Zack, Kyle, Amber, and so many other thank you for your service.

Day 13- Although I am not a parent, I am grateful to be apart of Liam's life and to have a role in his every day activities. I love that little guy and am truly  bless to be in his life. This year I have been blessed with a nephew and now he lives so close to us. Although he is here and missing his mommy I am proud to say that his parents are taking care of their family and I couldnt be happier to call them my family. And he is just too cute not to love him.

Day 14- I thankful for my extended family and how close we are. I find that it is hard to keep everyone together and i love that my family makes an effort to stay connected with eachother.

Day 15- I am gateful for my Aunt and Uncle who have know that I was gay for years and have always supported and encouraged me to be open and honest with my parents. I am grateful that they have stood by me through everything and have always offered their adivce.

Day 16- I am thankful for my ability to go to grad school and not have to worry about paying for it... for now that is.

Day 17- I am grateful for my new car and that I had an awesome sales guy who cared about what I wanted rather than trying to sell me something I didnt want.

Day 18- I am grateful that this christmas I will be celebrating it with both my families and I wont have sneak out to candices families house. I cant wait to celebrate the holidays this year.

Day 19- I am grateful for my childhood best firend Haley who has been around for me for the longest time and it never fails no matter how long it is before we see eachother or before we talk we always pick up like we have never been apart and Im so grateful that she will standing with me when I say I do.

Day 20- I am grateful that I have a life full of love, laughter, friends and family.

Day 21- This may be silly but I am grateful that Jess, Laurel, Candice, Andrew and I have game night every few weeks . I am grateful that we have made the effort to stay in touch and get together so that we will always be the best of friends, and I know that no matter where life takes us we will always find away to be together.

Day 22- I am thankful to be here. To be loved and cared for. I am thankful that I am finally myself.