Better Than That

My friend C told me: "I think I've finally figured the answer to why bad things happen to good people: To test our patience, limitations, strength, courage and emotions. Because if shitty things happen to good people, imagine the good things that happen to shitty people? they are still miserable in the best of times and will NEVER learn the emotion called ...apperciation. Because when shitty things happen to good people we have to pull through, because that's what being human is all about: pulling through when times get hard, and knowing when its over, that you and only you did it. and being able to stand behind that. whole heartly. thought I would share my light bulb of the night. ♥ "

 

This makes me think of my girlfriends ex, even though ive had my fair share of shitty stuff, my heart actually goes out to this girl. It isnt a secret that I am not her number one fan, and she has said some nasty stuff about me and my relationship, but this girl deserves more. She has a one year old, who is the cutest little thing imaginable, and she does it. All by herself she does it. She supports herself and her son. She supports her mom. And she doesnt really ask for anything. She works hard. Recently, she got screwed over by her car dealership who Im pretty purposely broke her car cause it is vermont and all. On top of that she is going through a really tough time and her, well we will just call him "Thing", is not only being a douche but he is treating her worse then the whale poop in the movie shark tales. Like I said, i dont totally like her, and I dont totally trust her, but after everything even she doesnt deserve that.

 

I told her that she deserves better and that she can do better than "thing" but she is so down in the dumps that she thinks that she cant. But she can. Its not like she is some hideous creature or something. Not my type but she could still find someone better. She deserves someone who is kind, caring, and understanding. This girl is complicated and messy, but I think that once you get past all the "fuck my life, Im bitter, and angry, down right depressed" there is someone who is funny, caring, and sweet. Now I know she has anger issues so she needs someone to match that and keep her calm when things get to hyped up but I swear blogging world she isnt a bad girl.

 

So basically... If she makes a move on my girl ill kill her, but if "thing" keeps this up ill kill for her too. Women, we are weird.

The Untold Story

So I have decided to tell the untold story of how I feel in love with Ms Candice Michelle Clark. Why you might ask, because it seems to be exactly like the fairy tales. My aunt has always told me that you cant go looking for love that it has to come and find you, and well that's exactly what happened. I wasn't looking for love, in fact I was in a nameless relationship with S when everything changed. CC and I had met before, when she was dating (secretly) MB, we never talked, friends on facebook but never anything more. When MB got pregnant CC did everything, and trust me after all the shit she has been I'm surprised she isn't a bitter emotionless person. Randomly, she messaged me, and at the time I didn't think much of it. We chat and chatted and I gave her my number and then it went from there.

Valentines Day- TB had dumped my ass, I was a mess, and CC decided to come down and cheer me up with MB. We texted the whole time she was there, and the brief time we were in the same room alone i wanted nothing more then to jump her bones. She was amazing. She made me laugh when I wanted to cry, made me smile when I didn't want to, and eased my anger and anxiety. During the time where we were hanging out, me, CC, MB, and wife, I was trying to figure out if CC and MB had gotten back together. Secretly hoping to god that they hadn't.

The baby shower. MB's  baby shower was the next time I would see her. We got to the shower and we were a little early and the stress was written all over her face. She need help. So we helped her set up. I distinctly remember a chair falling on Liam and rushing over to him and just smiling at me holding her son. It was great. Just like everyone else we texted throughout the shower, in which she looked amazing in her bright pink and white shirt. I love that shit. At the end of the shower I hugged her, not wanting to let go, and then softly letting my lips touch this cheek.

At first it was just chatting and random things and questions. Id talk to her from when I first got up to when I passed out. On day I told her I hurt and she respond with want me to kiss it, and I responded the only way I knew how, Yes please. I then proceeded to tell her that I wanted her to kiss it everywhere, and that then lead to conversation that were unimaginably amazing.

A month later and probably after 1,000 of texts, I picked CC up at her apartment and brought both of us up to see MB and Peanut.  At first I was shy. We didn't talk for the first twenty miles of the car ride and actually I texted her to ask if i could hold her hand. She said if i wanted to but it took me about twenty more miles to actually do it. On the way home everything was so much easier, basically leading to hitting 90 on 89, and stopping at the first rest stop on 91. All of this lead to our first kiss!!!!

Easter time. MB was staying at CC's house and I went up on Saturday to visit. All I wanted to do was hold her and snuggle up with her but we were keeping things on the dl so secretly we kissed when no one was looking. That night after I left she when back to her ex, and I was pissed. I was so mad but not really anger more of fear. Would she go back to that? Would she not wait for me to figure out my shit? Would she come back to me? All my anxiety passed the minute I heard from her then next morning and had confirmation that she was still coming to spend the night with me. That night she spent with me was pretty much the deciding factor that there was more than just friends with benefits happening here. I was falling for this girl and needed to figure out my shit.

The explosion. Her ex found a face book message conversation we were having and freaked out. Kicking CC out of her own apartment and pushing her right into my open arm. The second explosion of drama was when I had invited CC to come down and S showed up. I kicked S out and went chasing after CC. This happened the weekend leading into finals week and I took all my finals on Monday and Tuesday, and took a mini vacation to CC's house.


The ask out. After being there for almost 24 hours, CC and I were on the phone with her best friend and I said to her besties boyfriend that "our GIRLFRIENDS were weird" and she was like wait what huh. It was great. After we got off the phone I asked her out officially and that was that. I wanted our anniversary to be the fifth so I waited to ask her a few minutes longer.

And that's the story of us. That is the story of searching for love but letting it find you. Look what I found when I was looking... and to quote the movie finding nemo... "mine. mine. mine. mine"

I love you.