Thursday, March 22, 2012

what if

Sitting at my future mother in laws house, because my girlfriend the cop got called into work on her day off and my day off. The plan was to get our new tattoos, go to stoddard to register my card... again. But instead the sheriff called and wants her to work at the courts. Seeing as we are going to his house for dinner tonight and he is her father, saying no wasn't an option. Oh well. I guess this is what comes with dating a cop. Id say it is what it is but it is what it is and it sucks. And she was being all cute and lovey dovey with me. It would have been the perfect day. But Im doing laundry, watching teen mom 2 re-runs, and answering the phones for moms answering service. 

I just. I dont know. Im lonely and Im nervous that I wont be able to pass the AT test or program and that I wont be enough. She is living her dream and her big kid job, but what if I dont make it. What if I fail and lose her in the process? 


  1. UMM Excuse me pretty lady?! You will not fail and you will not lose me! Got it! Times will be hard with me being gone often, but just remember that I will be bringing in the big bucks to spoil your ass!! :) I love you beautiful and I know you will live your dream and get your big kid job, so stop worrying about that.

  2. By what if I dont. What if I dont make it? Or I cant do it? what if I dont get a big kid job?