Saturday, March 24, 2012


So I have rejoined the blogging world. When I got home last night, CC said to me that she had read my blog, and asked why I didnt tell her that i was blogging again. It wasnt that I didnt want to tell her that I was blogging, I just didnt think anything of it.

I have been really unsure of myself lately. She tells me that I will be able to do this program but I am not sure. There's a lot of work involved in this program and I dont know if I am going to measure up to the requirements that are going to be demanded of me. I dont think that Im going to measure up.

Which goes back to another fear of mine. If I don't pass, if I dont make it, will it matter? Her response, no it wont but it wont come to that. Actually I dont think that she said it would matter, it was more a vote of confidence that I would be able to do it. If I dont make it will she accept my minimal income and me? Like I said, Im just insecure, or stressed, or both.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

funny shit

FEBRUARY 6, 2009 5:31PM
So Funny I did not Change a Word
RATE: 87 Flag

This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from 'the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the viole nt urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'

Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep.
Always. . .

Wendi Aarons
Austin , T X

what if

Sitting at my future mother in laws house, because my girlfriend the cop got called into work on her day off and my day off. The plan was to get our new tattoos, go to stoddard to register my card... again. But instead the sheriff called and wants her to work at the courts. Seeing as we are going to his house for dinner tonight and he is her father, saying no wasn't an option. Oh well. I guess this is what comes with dating a cop. Id say it is what it is but it is what it is and it sucks. And she was being all cute and lovey dovey with me. It would have been the perfect day. But Im doing laundry, watching teen mom 2 re-runs, and answering the phones for moms answering service. 

I just. I dont know. Im lonely and Im nervous that I wont be able to pass the AT test or program and that I wont be enough. She is living her dream and her big kid job, but what if I dont make it. What if I fail and lose her in the process? 

Thursday, March 15, 2012


I want to lay in bed with you. Rest my head on your shoulder, have you play with my hair and just listen to you talk.