ugh

I'm not quiet sure what to blog about. There are a few things that have been on my mind. The first is E, and not the way you are thinking. I'm sitting here in my room with my wife and my girlfriend and I cant help but think about her and how it probably took her hours to fall asleep because she cant stop herself from the downward spiral she is falling into. E and I have had a roller coaster of a relationship but at the end of the day its all the same. I care about her and she cares about me. So this past Monday when she came to work looking like a hot mess, minus the hot, i couldn't help but ask if she was okay. when she finally told me that she was falling apart and expected to burst into tears any minute i thought for sure we would be going back to the hospital. I say we because i have been with her almost every time she was in there in the last three years. And this time would be no different, except she isnt there. She is sticking it out, fighting it off, and becoming stronger by the day... i just wish she would see that. 

Issue two in my life: my dad. cliff notes version: "if you sign any sort of loan, I will no longer do anything to help you ever again. And if you ever want me to be in your corner you will come home to discuss this." The this is grad school. What doesn't he like? oh i don't know, the fact that i want to be in school, the fact that i want to further my education, or the fact that i just finally am figuring out what i want to do. My point: I am a big kid. I will pay for grad school. And I will do it by myself. So deal with that dad, because I'm not dependent on you. I am growing up. Just be happy for me and accept that I am not going to call you every day or see you all the time. I am moving on and living my own life, and I don't have to report back to you. 

that is all...for now