Double standards honestly piss me off, and there are a few in my life that I don't like to live by. The first being that anything my brother does is okay but if I do it its not. But that's beef i have to take up with the ever so loving parental units. My next peeve is in relationships. Over and over again I have been told that talking to my ex's hurts my current girlfriend CC, and she has been told the same. We have both been told to cut out the exes in order to keep our relationship standing and surviving. Another friend , BD, is in a similar boat. Her girl gets pissed that she talks to her ex and in order to keep the relationship she keeps her friendship with her ex a secret from her girl. I understand this too. I fully believe that a significant other doesn't get to tell you who to be friends with and a conversation is just a conversation but i also know that i wouldn't pick any of my exes over CC and i get why she doesn't like them.
All of my exes once had a part of me, whether they had all of me or some of me they had a part of me. And some of them will always remain in my heart and I will always care about them and care about what happens to them but that doesn't mean i would ever go back to dating them. there is a reason that we didn't work, whether it was them, me, timing, or just plain imperfection, it didn't work for its own reasons and that is nothing to go back too.
Two of my close friends are both dealing with this issue. And I get it, from both sides I get it. I get where A is coming from in that exes cause stress because they once had you. They once knew everything you were thinking and feeling and that continuing talking to them may mean that you are telling them more then you are telling your actual girlfriend. Also, keeping and ex close kind of gives them the upper hand. Anytime the girlfriend screws up they learn what not to do and if they want to win you back they can. And there's more to this. its not just about control or jealousy and often it has nothing to do with either. Its about being in a relationship with you not with you and your ex. However from the other side I see that too. I am notorious for being friends with my exes and that is because at one point or another they were there when i felt i had no one. That being said I will repeat that i will not be leaving CC for any of my exes.
My advice: Just talk to your partner, make sure they feel loved, and confident in your relationship, then bring in the exes. This is one case where keep your friends close and your enemies closer doesn't apply. If something is going to ruin your happily ever after then its not worth keeping the poison around.