AHHHHHH!!!!! EPIC FAIL!!! Literally, EPIC FAIL!!! Damn it!
Blasting my music ridiculously loud on the bus trying to get my head totally focused on the game. Elms. The team to beat, the team to piss off, the girl that got away. I got of the bus blasting Riot by Three Days Grace, and walked in the gym with my total pissed off game face on, and I thought it would get me through. It failed. I knew from the moment I walked in she was there and that when it started. I tried to keep it together but I couldnt do it. I ended up crying in the bathroom and taking a mini walk to clear my head. KB's boyfriend met me in the hall and was like,"its okay clear your head and play your game." So then KB and I went to warm up right near her. She didnt even look at me and I think that hurt more. After the game, was probably the most nerve wracking because that would be the first time we would be eye to eye. After the exchange of good games, KB and I ran over to RJ our old coach who came to watch us play. It was good to have that distraction, to have something else to focus on. After the game, I was holding the door for some of the Elms people and KC walked by said thanks and I totally ignored her. I didnt know what to say or do. I just stood there like a deer in the head lights.
We got on the bus and I looked at my phone there was a text from her saying she was sorry. I freaked. She is sorry, she doesnt even know what she did to me to even start to say sorry. And we get to do take two of this whole thing on the 20th. I dont know if I can take the anxiety but I want nothing more that to beat the shit out of Elms, look good doing it, and make KCs head turn.
Till then its love and basketball.... and I hate that I dont hate her.
Shot 18- I hate that I dont hate you